As everyone agrees, this is the absolute worst time of the year, this time after the Super Bowl and before baseball starts. Nothing to do except work, which studies have shown make you a dull boy, or so they say. And if it couldn’t get any worse, you also have to contend with Valentines Day, which is a real holiday, not something just made up by Hallmark, but it still sucks anyway. Plus there is nothing good on TV because Game of Thrones won’t be back for like five years, and you already watched all of the Black Mirror episodes the first 6 hours they were on Netflix. If you do turn on the TV, there is nothing on but fucking Trump and the lying liars in the White House, or guys in tights trying to see who can be a millionth of a second faster to get to the bottom of a hill. Think about it. Why else would they hold the Winter Olympics at this time of year? Obviously its because everything sucks, and there is nothing else to do, which improves their ratings. Continue reading
The obvious take away here is that you can’t celebrate too early. You can’t start dancing in the end zone unless you are actually in the end zone. The old guy should know that by now. First day stuff really. Well, whatever, I hope to one day enjoy anything as much as the guy filming enjoyed watching that drunk old couple get down the stairs. Thank you Internets.
Well, I have done it again. Got another entry in the Urban Dictionary, you guys. Am I a hero? Who’s to say? But yes, yes I am. Continue reading
I think that most of you know that we here at the Monkey are big fans of Beer. I’m pretty sure that AB/InBev is about to award IJ a lifetime achievement medal to go along with his Hall of Fame induction in 1998 with Mongo about to receive his own HOF induction any day now. Oops, stand by, the ADHD just kicked in and I’m going to go on a little beer tangent before I get back to fooking cucumber beer, so grab a frosty one and buckle up. Continue reading
“I’m gonna drink a lot of Budweiser tonight, Tracy. I promise you that.” Continue reading