Got a call from Mongo a few weeks ago, who was in Cabo for the week for a wedding. Mongo asked me to come down to Cabo to work on a proposal we needed to get done to get some new business. Mongo said he was staying in some ridiculous house in Cabo, with its own pool and a “casita.” A “casita” is a “small house or outer building.” Mongo said I would actually be doing him a favor if I stayed in the casita so he wouldn’t feel like he was wasting money having that little house out there sitting empty. Wanting to help Mongo out, and considering that the stay would be as free as the salad at Olive Garden, I grabbed a flight to Cabo to go work on the proposal.
I may have been roofied in Cabo.
Jake and I still debate whose idea it was to get Bronson. The idea to get another dog was probably mine. But I swear to your god and mine that it was Jake’s idea to get a Rottweiler. I had never even met a Rottweiler. I had only seen them in the movies. A scary brute, silently guarding the estate or junk yard, available, if necessary, to kill or maul any intruder. Continue reading
The kids and I left for Florida the day after Trish’s funeral. The trip served a couple of purposes. Mainly we needed to get Alexa back to school for the end of her freshman year at the University of Miami. We also needed more time to spend together as a family, just the five of us, and figure out how this new life might work without Trish. So on the Thursday after Trish died, the day after her funeral, we loaded up the family truckster and headed out on the 24 hour drive for South Florida. Continue reading
“So how did Aunt Joan die?” I asked my Uncle Bud.
Strange that I didn’t know the answer to that, but I didn’t, so I asked. Uncle Bud, his real name is Albert, but everyone called him Bud, was my dad’s oldest brother. As the oldest brother, Uncle Bud was the patriarch of the family, at least since my grandpa had died in 1983. Continue reading
We are getting near the end, but still in that worst time of the year–after the Super Bowl when there are no good sports to watch and there is nothing to do except not get invited to a fancy cotillion where all your friends have a choice between beef and chicken and can spend $200 on a basket of tomatoes that isn’t even full of tomatoes because the bottom was fraudulently stuffed with paper. No worries, because I certainly have better things to do, like clean and wax the basement floor, which is oddly satisfying to me in ways that no one will ever understand. And having time to find that document that just might be worth millions, or maybe even hundreds of millions. Whatever. Life is good!
No better time than this to turn to the Blonde Tracks. So how about another tune from the goddess Dido. Great song here, and I don’t think she has ever been more smoking hot than in this video.
Alotta guys have texted me saying that Dido isn’t that hot, that her face is asymmetrical, and calling her a “Pipes 6.” Well, that is just mean, to both me and her. Fuck those guys. Team Dido all the way.
Here’s a recent Blonde Track to help get through the worst time of the year, which is right now, after the Super Bowl and before March Madness starts up.
Everyone is talking about Fergie’s rendition of the National Anthem the other night at the NBA All-Star game, and not in a good way. Apparently “real Americans” didn’t like Fergie’s version, and are pissing and moaning because she didn’t sing it exactly like they are used to hearing it. Continue reading
I’ve been getting a lot of mail (and one death threat) over my disparagement of the Winter Olympics, which some people take very seriously, apparently. Well, I would like to sincerely apologize from them to me, and the apology is definitely NOT accepted. The Winter Olympics still suck, and here is further proof. Continue reading
As everyone agrees, this is the absolute worst time of the year, this time after the Super Bowl and before baseball starts. Nothing to do except work, which studies have shown make you a dull boy, or so they say. And if it couldn’t get any worse, you also have to contend with Valentines Day, which is a real holiday, not something just made up by Hallmark, but it still sucks anyway. Plus there is nothing good on TV because Game of Thrones won’t be back for like five years, and you already watched all of the Black Mirror episodes the first 6 hours they were on Netflix. If you do turn on the TV, there is nothing on but fucking Trump and the lying liars in the White House, or guys in tights trying to see who can be a millionth of a second faster to get to the bottom of a hill. Think about it. Why else would they hold the Winter Olympics at this time of year? Obviously its because everything sucks, and there is nothing else to do, which improves their ratings. Continue reading
If I gave you one hundred guesses of the jobs I have held, you would never get this one. Hell, I could give a thousand guesses. If you guessed busboy, waiter, camp counselor, bartender, salesman, engineer or lawyer, you would be right, at least at some point in time. But there is one job I had that you would never guess. Not in a million years. Continue reading