We Can All Learn Some Important Life Lessons from this 20 Second Video

Kind of a metaphor for life, this video.  When you fall down, you gotta get back up.  No one ever drowned from falling into the water, but from staying there, or something.  But then just when get back up and dust yourself off, down you go again.  And then Trump gets elected.  What a world.

12/7/41 11/22/63 12/8/80 9/11/01 5/20/11 3/30/12 1/20/17

Trying my best not to be a whiny little bitch about all this, and maybe even get some laughs out of it somehow, but Jesus Fucking Christ you guys, the white supremacists are declaring “We did it!”  WTF?!?!?  If that doesn’t give you pause while celebrating your upcoming tax break, well, Gob* help you.   Continue reading

Viral Alert – Salt Bae

I made some steaks and Ore Ida shoestring fries last night without cutting off any parts of my hand (nbd).  When serving this feast, The Savage started tossing salt all over the fucking place like a damn weirdo, much to everyone’s amusement and cheers of “SALT BAE!!!”   Caught unawares, per usual, I demanded to know what the hell “SALT BAE” (pronounced “bay,” means “before anyone else”) meant.  Well, apparently we have a hot new thing on the Internet streets, a guy many are out there saying is the first Internet sensation of 2017.  So it is my sworn duty to report it.  More video below. Continue reading

Let’s Hold Off On the Pussy Grabbing for a Couple More Days People


In an incident that echoes Donald Trump’s “pussy-grabbing” controversy, a Republican politician has been arrested and charged with sexual assault after an altercation with a woman ended with him grabbing her crotch.

Christopher von Keyserling, a 71-year-old member of the Representative Town Meeting in Connecticut (a form of local government), is accused of insulting and then assaulting a staffer during a disagreement over none other than Donald Trump himself.

According to local media, the arrest warrant alleged von Keyserling responded to the woman’s comment that it’s “a new world politically” by telling her “I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct.”

The conversation descended into name-calling, and von Keyserling followed the woman into her office where he allegedly reached between her legs and “pinched her groin area”.

I’m sure the Libtards will be making a BFD about this minor incident ,and blaming it on President Trump, like he was there urging Mr. von Keyserling on and telling him where to grab this old biddy.  Well I’m about 110% sure our president wasnt their ,so you can’t blame this on him ,but the lamestream media will anyway.  Plus, Trump was very clear that he gets away with grabbing ’em by the pussy because “I’m a star.”  If you aren’t a star, then you aren’t going to get away with it, at least not until Trump abolishes all of Obama’s socialist regulations next week. Continue reading

Happy General Robert E. Lee Day


Lots of people dont even know this because of the communist liar retard communist liberal libtards ,but today is officially General Robert E. Lee Day ,people.  Yea ,thats right ,dont listen to the bullshit about that other made up Hallogram holiday.  Today is General Robert E. Lee day!  Recognized in all of the states that matter including Bama, Arkansas, Missississippi and my home the great state of Florida ,today we celebraish the birthing of the greatest and most winninest general of all time General Robert Edward Lee (aka Bobby Lee, although never to his face).   Continue reading

Enter Sandman


I ,the Sandman ,would like to be the first to welcome me ,the Sandman ,to the Monkey With a Gun Blog.  The bros don’t call me the Sandman because I like the beach ,because I don’t like the beach much if yous can’t drive on it.  No they call me the Sandman because I put to people to sleep.  Used to be that I put people to sleep on the football field ,but that was before that new pussy rule bout leading off with your noggin ,which is why God put your feet on one end and your spine splitter at the other, if you ask me.  Theseadays ,other than that incident at Shooters in Logansport a couple years ago (he asked for it) ,I put pussy libtards to sleep with my hot takes on politics ,and not from boredom ,but from the rightedness of my views ,many of which come directly from the Lord God Almighty Himself ,who is white.

Yea ,I said PUSSY.  A couple times.  So does our president.  You don’t like real talk? Fuck you ,theres the door.  Hit the bricks pal because you are going off.  Coffee is for closers.  (Alec Baldwin from the sales guy movie. Whatta actor.)

Enough bullshit, because I’m sicka this shit and gotta write.  Hit da music.