Kind of a metaphor for life, this video. When you fall down, you gotta get back up. No one ever drowned from falling into the water, but from staying there, or something. But then just when get back up and dust yourself off, down you go again. And then Trump gets elected. What a world.
Month: January 2017
I’ve Done It Again. Don’t Even Care.
Made the Urban Dictionary again, you guys. Not even the joy of redefining the English language helps to get through the pain of this day. Carry on.
12/7/41 11/22/63 12/8/80 9/11/01 5/20/11 3/30/12 1/20/17
Trying my best not to be a whiny little bitch about all this, and maybe even get some laughs out of it somehow, but Jesus Fucking Christ you guys, the white supremacists are declaring “We did it!” WTF?!?!? If that doesn’t give you pause while celebrating your upcoming tax break, well, Gob* help you. Continue reading
Happy Deplorables Day!!!
I woke up to a bunch of congratulatory texts today–feels like my birthday!! So excited. Just a great day to be an American! Congradulations President Trump ,and please tell those masons you got lined up along the Arizona border to commence building of the wall! What a great day for white people. Free at last! Continue reading
Viral Alert – Salt Bae
I made some steaks and Ore Ida shoestring fries last night without cutting off any parts of my hand (nbd). When serving this feast, The Savage started tossing salt all over the fucking place like a damn weirdo, much to everyone’s amusement and cheers of “SALT BAE!!!” Caught unawares, per usual, I demanded to know what the hell “SALT BAE” (pronounced “bay,” means “before anyone else”) meant. Well, apparently we have a hot new thing on the Internet streets, a guy many are out there saying is the first Internet sensation of 2017. So it is my sworn duty to report it. More video below. Continue reading
Are Found Casino Chips a Good Thing, or Nah?
Was putting on some clean mom jeans this morning and LO AND BEHOLD what do I find in my pocket but SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS in Planet Hollywood casino chips!!! Alas, what luck have I! My first thought, of course, was holy shit, $600 I didn’t know I had. Kind of like found money, because, well, it’s money and I found it. This is great!! But is it really? Continue reading
Mutual Hosting
Well, I have done it again. Got another entry in the Urban Dictionary, you guys. Am I a hero? Who’s to say? But yes, yes I am. Continue reading
Let’s Hold Off On the Pussy Grabbing for a Couple More Days People
In an incident that echoes Donald Trump’s “pussy-grabbing” controversy, a Republican politician has been arrested and charged with sexual assault after an altercation with a woman ended with him grabbing her crotch.
Christopher von Keyserling, a 71-year-old member of the Representative Town Meeting in Connecticut (a form of local government), is accused of insulting and then assaulting a staffer during a disagreement over none other than Donald Trump himself.
According to local media, the arrest warrant alleged von Keyserling responded to the woman’s comment that it’s “a new world politically” by telling her “I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct.”
The conversation descended into name-calling, and von Keyserling followed the woman into her office where he allegedly reached between her legs and “pinched her groin area”.
I’m sure the Libtards will be making a BFD about this minor incident ,and blaming it on President Trump, like he was there urging Mr. von Keyserling on and telling him where to grab this old biddy. Well I’m about 110% sure our president wasnt their ,so you can’t blame this on him ,but the lamestream media will anyway. Plus, Trump was very clear that he gets away with grabbing ’em by the pussy because “I’m a star.” If you aren’t a star, then you aren’t going to get away with it, at least not until Trump abolishes all of Obama’s socialist regulations next week. Continue reading
Happy General Robert E. Lee Day
Lots of people dont even know this because of the communist liar retard communist liberal libtards ,but today is officially General Robert E. Lee Day ,people. Yea ,thats right ,dont listen to the bullshit about that other made up Hallogram holiday. Today is General Robert E. Lee day! Recognized in all of the states that matter including Bama, Arkansas, Missississippi and my home the great state of Florida ,today we celebraish the birthing of the greatest and most winninest general of all time General Robert Edward Lee (aka Bobby Lee, although never to his face). Continue reading
Enter Sandman
I ,the Sandman ,would like to be the first to welcome me ,the Sandman ,to the Monkey With a Gun Blog. The bros don’t call me the Sandman because I like the beach ,because I don’t like the beach much if yous can’t drive on it. No they call me the Sandman because I put to people to sleep. Used to be that I put people to sleep on the football field ,but that was before that new pussy rule bout leading off with your noggin ,which is why God put your feet on one end and your spine splitter at the other, if you ask me. Theseadays ,other than that incident at Shooters in Logansport a couple years ago (he asked for it) ,I put pussy libtards to sleep with my hot takes on politics ,and not from boredom ,but from the rightedness of my views ,many of which come directly from the Lord God Almighty Himself ,who is white.
Yea ,I said PUSSY. A couple times. So does our president. You don’t like real talk? Fuck you ,theres the door. Hit the bricks pal because you are going off. Coffee is for closers. (Alec Baldwin from the sales guy movie. Whatta actor.)
Enough bullshit, because I’m sicka this shit and gotta write. Hit da music.
Monkey With A Gun 