Alotta guys (two) have been asking me how, exactly, I won eleven grand betting on Ian Happ’s lead off home run at the start of the Cub’s 2018 season, after I mentioned that in a blog a few weeks ago about whether I got roofied in Cabo (I did). Well, here’s the full story.
Seadick just hit me up to get some prop bets down on the “Big Game” tomorrow. I took tails, obviously, and he took the under on the National Anthem, thinking that P!nk’s claim that she got the flu is gonna speed things along. But then when we want to bet on some more, like what color shirt Belichick will wear, or what color of Gatorade gets dumped on the winning coach, we are kinda stuck. Neither of us is going to give the other the advantageous house odds, of course, so what the hell are a couple guys to do.
The problem, per usual, is translating published house odds into bro to bro odds, with no advantage to either side. Well that’s where I come in. I have scoured the Internets collecting odds, and then averaged and rounded the moneyline bets, removing the house advantage factor, and converting that to fractional odds that even idiots and young children can understand. If it was close, I just called it EVEN, or rounded up for the underdog, and moved on, because no reason to overthink it, or anything else, really. Finally, some odds I just made up if the math was too hard, if we are being honest with one another.
So, with those qualifications, the following are the 100% absolutely correct “Bro to Bro” prop bet odds for Super Bowl LII.
Had tickets for the U2 Joshua Tree concert in St. Louis on Saturday night but it got cancelled because of the riots. U2 concerts don’t matter, apparently. The stone set in my eyes, and a thorn twisted in my side. Well, by sleight of hand and a twist of fate, I got a call from Mr. Blue saying he was headed for the casino in Michigan City. With nothing to win and nothing left to lose, Ava and I headed for that jewel on Lake Michigan, in the shadow of a nuclear reactor, to meet up with Blue.
So I get there and Blue is into this table game Mississippi Stud, and teaches me how to play. I lost my ass, but I was HOOKED. I downloaded a Mississippi Stud app on the iPad machine, and was up all night Sunday deciding whether to triple up the odds on 3d, 4th and 5th street. Since that abortion on Saturday night, I have played thousands of hands on the computer, and have figured out EXACTLY where I went wrong, and how I will defeat this motherfucker in the future, and by the future I mean in a week and a half when SeaDick, Irish Jesus, Mongo, Kool, Keckie, and allegedly Captain and Butthead, descend on Vegas. So herein I give myself away, I give myself away, and describe how you too will defeat Mississippi Stud, like I will, in a week and a half in Vegas. Continue reading
Was putting on some clean mom jeans this morning and LO AND BEHOLD what do I find in my pocket but SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS in Planet Hollywood casino chips!!! Alas, what luck have I! My first thought, of course, was holy shit, $600 I didn’t know I had. Kind of like found money, because, well, it’s money and I found it. This is great!! But is it really? Continue reading
UPDATED WITH REAL TIME RESULTS BELOW
So there I am, minding my own business, when my phone chirps. Thinking that its probably one of the thousands of daily texts from the String, I don’t immediately pay any attention to it, but when I do, I see that it is a problem. It’s not a text from the String, its a side-text from Kool and that can only mean trouble. Not bad trouble obviously, but the good trouble that Kool is notorious for. More specifically, the kind of trouble that’s gonna cause me to stop paying attention to work, family or anything other than your typical Kool trouble for awhile — gambling. Kool’s first text is this:
He follows that up with: “Could be interesting,” which is obvious code for “you’re loser if you don’t bet on all 13 of the college basketball games that are being played tomorrow.”
You see where this is going right. Here are the picks:
Bama -1 — LOSE
Hawaii -6 — LOSE
Sparty +7.5 — LOSE (x2 as Kool was chasin and decided to double the bet)
BYU -4 — WIN
Winthrop PK — WIN
Oregon -1 — LOSE
Zags -10 — WIN
Duke -2.5 — LOSE
Pacific +2 — WIN
Stephen F. Austin -18 — LOSE
Hartford PK — WIN
Final Tally — SeaDick 8 wins, Kool 4, Giddy up indeed.
We have a side bet going in WWMD for the Friday afternoon game against the Phillies. WWMD will be played with the usual suspects, but Slim, the Captain and now possibly Satan are coming to town for the game. In addition to playing WWMD for real stakes, we will also be playing the Four Corners game, which isn’t really a game, it just means we will be hitting all the bars at the corners around Wrigley, per usual. Should be interesting. Continue reading
Let’s keep the positive streak going.
You know the drill. Gotta break the three game losing streak.
Joe definitely mixed things up yesterday with Rizzo batting second and Ceasar in the lineup. What will he do today with the Cubs traveling to St. Louis and Lackey on the mound. Well, he better do something because the Cubs have lost two in a row. Continue reading