Ted Cruz Doesn’t Know the First Goddamn Thing About Nicknames, is a Dork

The shitshow that is the Republican primary race definitely escalated after my last blog on the subject.  See here.  A day or so after Trump tweeted the picture comparing his smoking hot wife to Cruz’s decent looking wife, the National Enquirer came out with an expose on Ted Cruz’s five mistresses.  Cruz blamed Trump, and then everything went nuts over the weekend.  Good times!  So many ways to go with this story, but here’s my hot take.  Ted Cruz is a dork who doesn’t know the first goddamn thing about nicknames.
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Just Run the Damn Race. Jeesh.

Just run the damn race already

Two police officers in Atlanta were arrested last week when they got in a fight, and one of them pulled a gun, over who would be faster in a foot race.  I’ve had this exact same argument many times with 9, 10 and 11 year old boys and, for the record, was never beaten in the race to the outfield fence and back to the dugout.  I stopped doing that when they turned 12, though, and not because a couple of them might have been faster than me by then. No, I stopped because having foot races with other guys is childish and at some point in your 40’s you have to start acting like it.  Plus you might take a header into the pavement, and how would you explain that. Continue reading

The Leading Republican Candidates for President are in a Twitter War Over Who Has the Hottest Wife, and my Money is on Trump

Trump tweet picture 1000 words

In case you hadn’t noticed, the two leading Republican candidates for president are in a Twitter war concerning how hot their wives are.  First off, no way Lyin’ Ted wins that battle, and that’s just a fact.  Lyin’ Ted knows that, so he’s being a little bitch and taking the passive aggressive route, claiming that Trump is a “sniveling coward” for attacking his wife.  Absolutely fascinating, and just the latest craziness as the Republican party self destructs. Continue reading

Video Archives – Mr. Hair Gel Overgeller

Here’s a 2007 video tribute to Noodle, the man formally known as Mr. Hair Gel Overgeller.  I joke about stuff going viral, but this one actually sort of went viral, at least by 2007 standards.  Noodle reported that guys from his company found it and showed it at a national sales conference.  On Youtube, it got 10,000 views.  That was kind of a big deal back then.  Whatever, right. Continue reading

Viral Alert – “Sad Papaw”

Sad Papaw

“Viral Alert” is a new feature I just invented to alert our loyal readers (both of you) when something is going viral on the Internets.  Although I don’t really keep up on fashion, or the latest music, or whatever is “cool” at the moment, I do check Twitter every five minutes or so.  I thought I would perform a public service for you degenerate gambling alcoholic golfers and let you know when something is hot on the streets, and by “streets” I mean the Internets.  You’re welcome. Continue reading

MMFU –Dr Evil is Cackling in His Lair

 

I know, I know, you all are saying WTF SeaDick?  Where were the MMFUs over the weekend?  I say, keep your damn pants on.  I love you all, but there was wall to wall March Madness (and hockey and Warriors/Spurs and one of my daughters playing a garden tool in her Spring Musical — So proud) and, if we are being honest with each other, blogging comes well behind all of those items. As you can guess from the video clip above Dr. Evil (formerly Kool, but he’s no longer Kool to me after the weekend) has taken a lead in the picks.  As you can see below, we’ve wagered on 52 games, both picking 26.  Dr. Evil is 12-13-1 and I am 11-15.  So really just a three game difference.  You are undoubtedly saying “But SeaDick if it’s only a 3 game difference why is Dr. Evil cackling?”  A good question my friend.  The answer, as you may have guessed, is that the games where we doubled the bet have been killing me.  In those, Dr. Evil is  3-4-1 and I’m 2-6. Continue reading