Some MAGAt Trumpster at the Federalist delivered a broadside last week claiming that “You’re Not Allowed to Knock Trump for Stormy Daniels If You Watch Porn.” Yes, that was the actual headline. The full article is here. So many ways to go with this one, but let’s just hit the high points and then take a deep dive into the logic at play which, although erroneous, is kind of interesting. And, that headline will be a little confusing at first, especially for Republicans, but I promise I to tie this all up like a Christmas bow by the end. So hang in there.
Apparently a person is ripped to shreds by a crocodile in North Queensland every three months. And we think we have problems.
I’ve been doing my gob damnedest to avoid watching, talking about or even thinking about the Gorsuch Supreme Court confirmation hearings going on this week out of fear of losing my gob damned mind. This is of course the Scalia seat, that was President Obama’s constitutional right to fill. Rather than a reasonable moderate in Merrick Garland, we now have a staunch conservative who won’t answer questions about whether he will overturn Roe v. Wade and protect corporations over people, because of course he will. Well, you know what else he won’t answer? Whether he would rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck! Continue reading
I am not the only one pissing off the Trumpsters, I guess. Ok then. Carry on.
So how about this fucking guy! Mr. Noah Dyer is running for governor of Arizona. And Mr. Noah Dyer will not let any scandal or controversy get in his way! In fact, future Governor Noah has an entire page of his website devoted to his “Scandal and Controversy.” Gotta respect that. Actually, if I have ever respected anything more than that I can’t think of it. Just getting right out in front of the “enemy of the people” fake news media who would try to bring him down for basically living life, banging married chicks and making sex videos that are already out there on the internets anyway. Continue reading
As previously reported here, I spent the morning protesting against the protesters at Planned Parenthood, and by “spent the morning” I mean I walked by and told them that god isn’t real and that they just made him up to make themselves feel better. Since my lawful protest of the protesters, I have been subjected to endless harassment and criticism in my own home, including allegations that I am intolerant and a bigot, that my camera skills suck ass, that I wear a “uniform” consisting of “mom jeans” and Adidas, and that I was unfairly “harassing peaceful ,God fearing Christians.” This harassment and criticism OF ME, which is clearly unconstitutional, must be abated forthwith. Continue reading
So on my way to get some caffeine this morning I encountered the protesters outside Planned Parenthood, and by on my way I mean about a mile out of my way so that I could hassle the protesters outside Planned Parenthood. I was hoping there would be a bunch of hot babes counter protesting with whom I could join ranks and chant along, maybe even get a pink stocking cap. But alas, what luck have I? It was just me on the side of all that is right and good, so I did my best under the circumstances. Am I a hero? Who’s to say. But yes, yes I am. Continue reading
You couldn’t make this shit up if you tried. Why isn’t anyone watching this buffoon? Trump is waiting for the EASY D!
Reset the counter again today.
Trying my best not to be a whiny little bitch about all this, and maybe even get some laughs out of it somehow, but Jesus Fucking Christ you guys, the white supremacists are declaring “We did it!” WTF?!?!? If that doesn’t give you pause while celebrating your upcoming tax break, well, Gob* help you. Continue reading
I woke up to a bunch of congratulatory texts today–feels like my birthday!! So excited. Just a great day to be an American! Congradulations President Trump ,and please tell those masons you got lined up along the Arizona border to commence building of the wall! What a great day for white people. Free at last! Continue reading