“I’m gonna drink a lot of Budweiser tonight, Tracy. I promise you that.”
“I’m gonna drink a lot of beer tonight, Jim. Budweiser! Von Miller is buying.”
So everyone probably heard Peyton say that he planned to go get hammer drunk on Budweiser after winning the Super Bowl last night. First off, good for him! Hope he pounded 15 Bud heavies and jumped up on a table and accidentally knocked out a ceiling tile that hit a girl, and then argued with her over who had the better lawyer. You do you, Peyton. But that had to be a planned statement, right? Note he said pretty much the same thing, phrased the same way, in both the interview right after the game, and then up on the podium. So it had to be a planned statement. Had to be. But why?
Remember, this was not the first time Manning has said after a big game that there is an empty place inside of him where a beer isn’t. After a 2014 playoff game against the Chargers, Manning famously said “What’s weighing on my mind is how soon I can get a Bud Light in my mouth.”
Theories explaining Peyton’s post-game need for the King of Beers are flying around the internets, including that 1) he was paid by Budweiser (denied by Budweiser); 2) he is angling to be a spokesman for Budweiser when he retires (current players can’t endorse alcohol); 3) he owns part of some beer distributors in Louisiana and he is shilling his product; 4) it is a dig at Eli and/or Tom Brady, who were paid to say they were going to DisneyWorld after their Super Bowl wins; 5) it is a dig at Goodell and the league because players can’t endorse alcohol, but he is Peyton Manning and can get away with anything; 6) he is branding himself as just a regular beer-drinking guy; and 7) combinations of the above.
All possible, but here is my theory. I say that Peyton knew he would get asked about his retirement, and had a canned response ready that would change the subject, and be kinda funny. His response in 2014 was probably off the cuff, but it worked, and everyone had a good laugh. He was ready this time with the same answer, except he apparently now prefers diesel over the greater tasting and less filling Bud Light.
Or maybe Occam was right, and he just really couldn’t wait to hammer a case of cold Budweisers. Not that there is anything wrong with that, either.
And while we are on the subject, what was up with that minute long Hellen Mirren PSA on drinking and driving? I get it, don’t drink and drive, but I don’t need some classy British broad calling me names and lecturing me about it. Jeesh. And does anyone really think that expired smoke sips Bud heavies? Come on. I’d put her on something like a Manhattan or an Old Fashioned, and then maybe.