Former Playboy Playmate Ashley Mattingly charged with drunk driving a golf cart – Golf Digest
Golf Photo of the Day
Blair O’Neal. How you doin?
Bears Can’t Catch the Crab Thief
Might have been a couple blocks in the back in the end zone, but DAMN what a play today by Jameis.
Jameis, by the way, stood on a table in college in 2014 and yelled “Fuck her right in the pussy!” He got a one game suspension. Trump said he just “Grabs them by the pussy,” and you can do that “when you’re a star.” We elected him president. What a world.
Angry Dead Pool Alert — RIP Leon Russell
H/T Gramps
I Gotta Weigh In On the Yoga Pants Controversy
So a couple weeks ago a crotchedy old man named Alan Sorrentino wrote a letter to his local paper complaining about “mature” and/or overweight women wearing yoga pants. Women did not appreciate Mr. Sorrentino’s viewpoint, so they organized a march by his house, in yoga pants, of course. Then they all did yoga together in a park, which I understand is an actual activity, where you stretch and take deep breaths, or something. In response, Mr. Sorrentino claimed he was just kidding around, and that he did not appreciate the death threats and the oppression of his free speech. Continue reading
Things that Will Make Pipes’ Head Explode
RNC Chair Priebus Is Leading Contender to be Trump’s Chief of Staff – WSJ
Fergie is Back and She Brought Her Hot Mom Friends
Although the String may be real time, the Monkey with a Gun blog certainly is not. Time to catch up on some things we missed while Donald Trump was destroying America. Glad to have Seadick back in the game, and looking forward to some quality drunken content from Irish Jesus.
As the resident expert on age appropriate smokes, it is my responsibility to drop this masterpiece in everyone’s eyeball. If you turn the volume all the way down, this is just a great video. Fergie and her hot mom friends basically just dance around and pour milk on themselves and tease the milkman with their Fergaliciousness. Genius! Continue reading
Question of the Day
If you could be anyone else in the world who would it be?
To be clear, I mean if you could trade bodies with any living human being, who would you trade with? And none of that “I’m comfortable with who I am BS.” Gotta switch.
I know what you are thinking. “Well SeaDick, you go first. Who would you pick?” I’m glad you asked — Dustin Johnson.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMscXp5jq3k/?taken-by=paulinagretzky
Song of the Day
Time to Focus
Well the weather is getting cold and you know what that means — no more golf season. We may have a few more weeks of potential play, but my own personal cut off is 50 degrees Fahrenheit. That means we are in the shoulder season between golf and skiing. I’m happy to report that La Nina has brought enough snow to the west to allow some ski resorts to open mid-November, but realistically I don’t see myself hitting the slopes until January (unless of course if we set up a “Guys Only” trip for Tahoe in December again). So what’s a degen to do? Drink obviously, but as you can tell by this post and Pipes’ missives below, it’s time to get back in blogging game. Buckle up Monkey fans, a lot of crazy shit has happened since we were last blogging regularly, was there an election recently? We also have a new provider of content as we are proud to add Irish Jesus to the site. He only blogs when he’s not sober, so you can expect commentary from him all the time.
As IJ likes to say, Let’s Go!
Monkey With A Gun 