Welcome back to our award winning new feature that I invented this week that used to be called “Lost Tracks” and had to be renamed “Blonde Tracks” because all of the lost tracks were about blondes. I came up with this feature to get us through the worst time of the year, that time when post-NFL depression sets in and there are no sports to watch that don’t totally suck. The time of the year when the temperature rarely gets above negative 40 degrees on either the Fahrenheit or Celsius scale, which is of course the same at negative 40 degrees. I could lick a frozen flag pole and you could stand next to me with a pot of warm water offering to pour it on my tongue if I named a worse time of year, but I couldn’t do it because there isn’t a worse time of year and because you can’t really talk with your tongue frozen to a flag pole.
I’ll be the first to admit that Joan Osborne is at least a couple points below Deborah Harry on the hot blonde scale. And she could really be a little blonder, if you ask me. Nevertheless, there is something about the curls that just do it for me. The kinky blonde hair look never disappoints, you guys, and I would jump in a rental car and drive an hour and half to go meet her, even if the guys back at the casino busted my balls about it.
In this famous religious song, Joan goes out to a carnival to get an answer to the important question “What if God was one us?” In order to relate to the carny freaks, Joan wears a nose ring, and then gets right up in their face and demands “If God had a name, what would it be?” Failing to get a response, Joan then just waves that beautiful, kinky blonde hair around for awhile, and then goes home on the bus. So we really never get an answer, just lots of questions, which is pretty much par for the course, I guess.
So here’s Joan doing an acoustic “One of Us” in Chicago in 2012. If my math is correct, and it always is, Joan is 50 in the video. Although she has unfortunately lost the curly blonde hair, Joan still looks and sounds pretty good.