Like me, SeaDick is an astute follower of the political scene, as you can probably tell if you read this blog. Where I lean a little to the left, SeaDick leans a little to the right. He denies he is a Republican, and who wouldn’t deny being a Republican with the shitshow that they are putting on these days. Instead, SeaDick says he is “socially liberal, fiscally conservative,” which probably means he doesn’t hate the gays and the Muslims, but is selfish with his tax dollars. I call that the reasonable wing of the Republican party, because their position at least makes sense. Although heartless and cruel, they are at least intellectually respectable in my book, and tend to deal in facts, at least until you mention climate change.
Anyway, SeaDick and I place wagers with each other on anything with an uncertain outcome, and lately that has been the primary elections. Last night we had $1,200 on the line, which sounds like a lot, but it really isn’t because everything tends to wash out in the end. That’s what happened last night.
To start, SeaDick texts me to see what we are wagering on for the night. I had been looking at the electoral map and reading the latest prognostications, and my thought was that Clinton and Trump were going to exceed expectations, and effectively lock up their party nominations last night. Clinton crushed Bernie in South Carolina, and Trump mania is running wild, with Rubio making a total ass of himself all week talking about the size of Trump’s hands and how Trump peed his pants at the last debate. Very funny, but not exactly presidential.
Now, of course Bernie was going to win his home state of Vermont, and Cruz would probably win his home state of Texas, although Trump had a chance in Texas. But I figured it would be close. So I proposed a “run the table” wager, with Trump winning everywhere but Texas, and Clinton winning everywhere but Vermont. SeaDick gave me 3:1 on a $100 bet for that long shot, and it was booked.
Lost that one, with Cruz taking Oklahoma and Alaska in addition to Texas, and Rubio taking Minnesota. Bernie also fared better than I expected, and won Colorado, Minnesota and Oklahoma, in addition to Vermont.
Next, SeaDick apparently had better intel on the Trump-Cruz match up in Texas, and proposed $100 that Cruz would win Texas by more than 10 points. I thought Trump would keep it close, maybe even win. Booked.
Lost that one. Cruz won Texas by 17.
Continuing with my Hillary sweep theory, I proposed that we put $100 on every state for the Democratic winner, with Clinton giving 15 points in every state. I knew this would be a loser in Vermont and Massachusetts for sure, but likely a winner in the many redneck states. Like I said, Hillary kicked the shit out of Bernie in South Carolina. No idea what would happen out west in Colorado and Oklahoma. SeaDick took a few minutes to run the numbers, then agreed, provided we include American Samoa, which isn’t a state, obviously, but apparently gets to chime in on the election. Booked.
I came out ahead on this one. Hillary crushed Bernie in the South as expected, but Bernie won 4 states and kept Massachusetts close. In the wildcard American Samoa caucus, Hillary kicked ass, we found out this morning. So I won $700, but lost $500, for a net $200 gain on the +15 bets.
So that makes it all a wash.