“Viral Alert” is a new feature I just invented to alert our loyal readers (both of you) when something is going viral on the Internets. Although I don’t really keep up on fashion, or the latest music, or whatever is “cool” at the moment, I do check Twitter every five minutes or so. I thought I would perform a public service for you degenerate gambling alcoholic golfers and let you know when something is hot on the streets, and by “streets” I mean the Internets. You’re welcome.
So “Sad Papaw” went viral recently when this guy’s granddaughter publicly shamed her siblings and cousins for not showing up for dinner with grandpa. That got retweeted a million times, and the next thing you know everyone is blogging about it, this old guy is an internet celebrity, the grandkids have a webpage selling “Sad Papaw” hats and tee shirts and they are all going on Ellen or something. The bad grandkids and the sad old guy are internet famous in the space of like a week. Crazy.
Now, I don’t begrudge them their fifteen minutes of fame, but how does this happen? Everyone and their brother tweets and posts a million things a minute. How do some videos and pictures blast through all this noise and become huge, and something that everyone is talking about, and instantly, overnight? Damn Daniel, Pizza Rat, the black and blue dress (or was it gold and white?), the white girl who said she was black, the dentist who shot Cecil the lion, #bushdid9/11, those babes that lip synch in their car (maybe that’s just me), etc., etc., etc. Well, I don’t know how this happens, but I’ll do my best to report in on whatever is going crazy at the moment, and maybe we can figure this out. Or maybe we won’t. Worth a shot.
Also, going on the record that I hate the “Papaw” thing. Your parent’s parents are Grandma and Grandpa. End of story. If you can’t figure out which “Grandpa” is being referred to, well tough shit, learn to follow the context for me one time for a change. Or better yet, add the last name on there. Grandma Curran is a perfectly fine moniker, and worked for me all of this life. Those made up names like Nana, Poopoo, ReeRee, Pappie, etc., are for the birds. And once it starts, you can’t stop it, which I know from experience with my kid’s grandparents. The first grandkid establishes the grandparent name, it sticks and there is no going back. Stuck with it for life, and all the followup grandkids have to use it. Well, the next generation will be different. Someday I will be Grandpa Dowell, like my Grandpa Dowell before me, and any kid that calls me anything different won’t get invited over when I make 12 burgers.