As previously reported here, I spent the morning protesting against the protesters at Planned Parenthood, and by “spent the morning” I mean I walked by and told them that god isn’t real and that they just made him up to make themselves feel better. Since my lawful protest of the protesters, I have been subjected to endless harassment and criticism in my own home, including allegations that I am intolerant and a bigot, that my camera skills suck ass, that I wear a “uniform” consisting of “mom jeans” and Adidas, and that I was unfairly “harassing peaceful ,God fearing Christians.” This harassment and criticism OF ME, which is clearly unconstitutional, must be abated forthwith.
First off, I would like to apologize from them to me, and that apology is definitely NOT accepted. Ok sure, the bible people were peaceful and exercising their First Amendment right to protest, and I was pretty much just a dick yelling at them and accusing them of voting for Trump. But here’s the thing. Those idiots were at the Planned Parenthood to harass the women exercising their Fourth Amendment right to have a baby ripped out of their vagina. So I was exercising my right to harass someone who was exercising their right to harass someone who was exercising their right, and that makes it all even. The world was in balance at that point. The new protesters of the protester protesting the protesters starts the cycle all over again. Should I now protest the protesters who are protesting my protest of the protesters? How do we get off this merry-go-round?
And here’s another thing while I have my Constitution out. The Planned Parenthood protesters and I were exercising our rights in the proverbial PUBLIC SQUARE. If you have studied constitutional law, and I have, the PUBLIC SQUARE is NOT a “safe space” for your tender feelings, but instead the recognized jurisdiction for demonstrating that you are a stark raving mad lunatic, as I did this morning. The latest round of protesters are harassing me IN MY OWN HOME, wherein I have the right to be secure in my persons, houses, papers and effects, absent probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. So there.
Can I come over to your safe space and apologize? Or maybe just have a really cold Bud Light?
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Anytime!
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