Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Homeless Hero Hitchhiker

Since I mentioned it, I guess I gotta blog it.  Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Homeless Hero Hitchhiker set the internets on fire a few years ago with his true story of saving a woman from Jesus Christ.  With a hatchet.  Sure, it is a great story, but my favorite parts are the great lines from this hero, starting with his manifesto on life and self-worth.  To wit:

“Before I say anything else, I want to say no matter what you done, you deserve respect. Even if you make mistakes, you’re loveable, and it doesn’t matter your looks, skills, your age, your size, or anything, you’re worthwhile. No one can ever take that away from you.”

“I mean, freight train riders know this.  If you get pinned between something, do not fuckin’ move that shit, otherwise you bleed out.”

“People say don’t hitchhike.  Yeah, well, at least I was here.”

“I’m Kai. Straight outta dog town.”

“I’m like, bro, if you’re fuckin’ Jesus Christ, I’ll be the antichrist, man. Like fuck that shit.

“If I could go back in time, I would have dialed him up right there.”

“I don’t have any family. Like, as far as, as far as anyone I grew up with is concerned, I’m already dead. So, whatever.”

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