Video Archives – Sh*t Our Dad Says

Dug into the video archives today to start a new feature that I will call “Video Archives” because they are videos from the archives.  Simple enough.  No need to overthink it.

So the kids put this together for me on Father’s Day 2012.  Pretty solid work, if we are being honest with one another.  I keep trying to get them to do a new one because I come up with new funny shit all the time, and there would be no shortage of material, that’s for sure.  Well, Father’s Day is coming up soon, and you know what is on my list.

MFMU — Brains Beats Morans Every Time

makai-mason-yale-vs-baylor-jpg

In hindsight I guess I should have seen it coming.  The hints where there.  A 12 always beats a 5.  The game was in Providence, RI.  The favorite was in the Big 12, which Kool says is weak other than Kansas.  The underdog is playing with a chip on its shoulder because it’s captain was expelled following a controversial sexual assault allegation (http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/15/sports/basketball/yale-basketball-captain-says-he-was-wrongfully-expelled.html?_r=0) and the average IQ of the two teams probably has a 30 point differential.  Now sometimes brawn beats brains, but when one of the brawns decides it’s a good idea to try to go behind the back in the middle of traffic in the lane with 3 seconds to go and down by 2 . . . well, you know what happened. Continue reading

MFMU — Who Didn’t Have Faith in Michigan?

imageThat would be me I guess.  SeaDick is on the right side of the ledga boys and girls with an impressive sweep of both games last night to even the standings at 2-2.  Well, maybe more lucky than good, but just like my golf game, I’ll take it.  Now that the real  tourney has started, not the “First Four” (More like the “No One is Watching These Games Four.”  It took me like 10 minutes to even find the right channel.  TruTv?  WTF?) we can get down to the real wagering.  Kool and I spent a good 30 minutes last night picking today’s games and I think I am going to absolutely own his ass today.  Not literally of course, but you knew what I meant.  Like Mongo says, “I know that you know that I know that you know that I know.”  Cawk.  Anyway, here’s today’s picks: Continue reading

March Fooking Madness Update

Time for a March Fooking Madness Update.  We’ll be using MFMU for short I think.  In any event, it wasn’t the greatest start from my perspective, but I am sure Kool is cackling in his lair this morning contemplating whether he really can go 69-0.  How great is it by the way that there are 69 games?  Childish?  Yes.  Funny?  Hell yes.  But once again I digress. Continue reading

March Fooking Madness

bracket

No, I’m not talking about the current presidential primaries.  That’s more like lunacy or a clown show.  I’m talking about the best time of the year for a sports fan, the NCAA Men’s basketball tournament.  The time when more than $1.7 Billion in worker productivity will be lost while we all fill out our brackets, watch the games on our computers and generally ignore the rest of the world. Continue reading

Supertramp Knew About 9-11 in 1979 and Didn’t Do a Goddamn Thing About It Except Leave a Clue on the Breakfast In America Album Cover

Album cover

DO YOU SEE IT???  Right there in front of our eyes on Supertramp’s “Breakfast In America” album, and has been for most of our lives!  While we were Taking the Long Way Home again, and singing along to the Logical Song and Goodbye Stranger, Supertramp knew of the 9-11 attacks 22 years in advance!! Continue reading

Blonde Tracks – Always On Your Side by Sheryl Crow

So here’s another daily entry for the award winning, internationally acclaimed feature that we call Blonde Tracks, because they are music tracks by blondes.  Deal with it.  We use this feature to get through the universally recognized worst time of the year, the time after the Super Bowl and before the ice on the sidewalk thaws out so you can go outside and throw a ball around without the risk of a slip and fall where you crack your head open on the pavement.  If you held a gun to my head and demanded that that I name a worse time of year, you better have the nutsack to pull the trigger, because I couldn’t name one. Continue reading

Blonde Tracks – Fergalicious by Fergie

Welcome back to the internationally acclaimed Monkey With a Gun daily feature called Blonde Tracks, and by daily feature I mean the days I post something.  The Blonde Tracks help us get through the worst time of the year after the Super Bowl and before Pi Day, which is 3-14 if you are a mathematical idiot.  You could deny me access to a bathroom until I named a worse time of year and I would end up in a situation not unlike Fergie in this picture: Continue reading

The 2016 Minnesota High School Hockey Hair Awards just dropped, you guys

Less than twelve hours after I provided advance notice, that dude up in Minnesota has dropped his 2016 Minnesota High School Hockey Hair Awards. The video is 8 minutes of hilarity, per usual.  Some great Minnesota stuff too this year, like butter sculptures and a restaurant with all you can drink milk.  Definitely above average, like all the kids in Minnesota. Continue reading