I’ve been getting a lot of mail (and one death threat) over my disparagement of the Winter Olympics, which some people take very seriously, apparently.  Well, I would like to sincerely apologize from them to me, and the apology is definitely NOT accepted.  The Winter Olympics still suck, and here is further proof.

I don’t even know where to even begin with this idiot.  Elizabeth Swaney is an American who skis for Hungary in the women’s so-called “freestyle halfpipe,” an event where skiers go back and forth in a half pipe doing crazy flips and twists and turns and jumps.  Check out her Olympic run above.  I could do that, and I’m not exaggerating for a change.  How the hell is this broad in the Olympics?

First off, she is skiing for Hungary because she claims her grandparents are from Hungary.  How does that let her ski for Hungary?  Everyone’s grandparents are from somewhere.  Does that mean anyone can play for whatever country they want if they can dream up some distant family relation from that country?  Is that how it works?

Second, she qualified for the Olympics by strategically picking an obscure event (where Hungary is apparently weak) with a unique qualification system, and then traveling around the world attending World Cup  events to get enough points to qualify for the Olympics.  At these events, all she had to do was finish in the top 30, and she would get a couple points toward making the Olympics.  To get in the top 30, her strategy would always be to just try to get to the bottom without falling.  Since many of the woman doing 720 cameltoe backflips, or whatever, would inevitably crash and burn, Elizabeth would get in the top 30 by simply getting to the bottom.  Many of the events apparently wouldn’t even have 30 entrants, and she would automatically get a few points just for showing up.  With enough points, and since each country only gets four spots, she could qualify for the big show.  Ridiculous.

Can you imagine how much the real halfpipers must hate this girl.  Probably lots of women right on the cusp of making it for their country, and working day and night on their flips and somersaults, with their parents taking out a second mortgage to fund their Olympic dream, and here comes this bitch, just trying to stay upright and get last place, pretending to be a skier, and worse, a Hungarian skier. 

Oh wait, Elizabeth posted her “accomplishment” on Instantgram, because of course she did, and she is getting lit the fuck up!

• dymkinLolxDdddddd😂😂😂😂😂

• sassafrashley000holy shit, @lizswaneyYou’re an entitled, fucking poser. Are you too fucking stupid to understand this is embarrassing?

• maxwellzines@sassafrashley000 Right?! I’ve spent ten years training to ride halfpipe… She’s making a fucking joke out of my passion

• • bradleylingnau@naumanistani she qualified through a loophole. You have to place in top 30 in global events. She just competed in events with less than 30 people competing. She payed her way around the world to compete in this events just to get in. Then she has the audacity to complain about not getting into finals. She’s a joke and a narcissist. There’s countless people who train hard and can actually ski who deserve her spot. Don’t defend her.

You know who else is mad as hell?!?  That’s right, the Hungarians!!!  And trust me on this, you do not want to make a Hungarian mad.

Forget our country please.  You are not hungarian ,and with your ego you made shame to us. A soha nem viszontlátásra!*

*Translation:  The Never-Seeing!  (I’m gonna use that)

You made shame to us!