Author: Idyt

Fergie is Back and She Brought Her Hot Mom Friends

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Although the String may be real time, the Monkey with a Gun blog certainly is not.  Time to catch up on some things we missed while Donald Trump was destroying America.  Glad to have Seadick back in the game, and looking forward to some quality drunken content from Irish Jesus.

As the resident expert on age appropriate smokes, it is my responsibility to drop this masterpiece in everyone’s eyeball.  If you turn the volume all the way down, this is just a great video.  Fergie and her hot mom friends basically just dance around and pour milk on themselves and tease the milkman with their Fergaliciousness.  Genius! Continue reading →

Why is [INSERT NAME HERE] so drunk?

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So apparently [A PERSON] partook in some day drinking yesterday, which led to [THAT PERSON] getting a text from his buddy’s distraught wife.  The wife asked:

“[PERSON], why is [BUDDY] so drunk?  Did he drive home like this?  He’s sick.”

We’ve all been there.  Happens all the time, unfortunately.  And I don’t think we have ever determined the right answer, or how to handle this situation.  So what is the correct response? Continue reading →

Viral Alert – The Mannequin Challenge

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After spending all my time the last few months following the Cubs and that other thing, it is time to get back in the blogging game.  So here’s a quick and easy Viral Alert to break the blogging slump.

While most of us were distracted by our long national nightmare, which is unfortunately not over, “The Mannequin Challenge” became the hot new thing on the internet streets.  The way this works is that everybody stands as still as possible in a frozen pose of some sort, and then a person roams around the scene filming everyone while a song called “Black Beatles” by Rae Sremmurd plays in the background.  Then they post it on the social media.  That’s it.  That’s all there is to it. 

Here’s an example.

How this became a thing is beyond me, but you need to be aware of it.  All the kids are doing it, of course, and even pro and college sports teams are getting in on the action, either in the locker room, on the practice field or at halftime.  The Cavs did it today with Michelle Obama at the White House and Hillary did one the other day on her campaign plane not long before the world ended.  We sure do live in interesting times, and we also have the Mannequin Challenge. Continue reading →

Buddy Ryan’s “Polish Goal Line” Defense

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polish goal line defense

RIP, Buddy Ryan, inventor of the “Polish Goal Line” Defense.  Supposedly this play is from Buddy’s 1993 playbook when he was defensive coordinator for the Houston Oilers.  The play was a goal line defense for use at the end of a half when there were fewer than 15 seconds on the clock and the offense was inside the 5 yard line.  Look at the defense and count the players–14 defenders!  The idea was that the extra players would prevent a score, the offense would lose valuable seconds off the clock and the defense would only be penalized half the distance to the goal line.  In effect, the offense would only get one chance to score, rather than potentially multiple chances to score.   Continue reading →

WWMD Special Edition – Phillies v. Cubs, Friday May 27

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Captain fight

We have a side bet going in WWMD for the Friday afternoon game against the Phillies. WWMD will be played with the usual suspects, but Slim, the Captain and now possibly Satan are coming to town for the game.  In addition to playing WWMD for real stakes, we will also be playing the Four Corners game, which isn’t really a game, it just means we will be hitting all the bars at the corners around Wrigley, per usual.  Should be interesting. Continue reading →