If you have watched the news in 2016, and I have, I am sure you would agree that the biggest story of the year has probably been Madonna’s ass. Dat 2016 Madonna ass has been all over the place. Most recently, the issue is whether Madonna, at the tender age of 58, has some new butt implants. I didn’t even know that was a thing until a couple years ago when I learned of such things on a trip to South Florida. But that is a story for another day, and by that I mean never. Anyway, as the premiere blogger on the older smokes, and in particular the blonde older smokes, I gotta report the situation. I report, you decide.Continue reading →
Buckle up Bitches because it is time for me to start dropping my Top 10 lists for 2016! To start things off, lets go with my Top 10 Movies of 2016.
First off, some rules. This ain’t ‘Nam, after all.
A. Allow me to be the first to say that these are definitely not the BEST movies of 2016. I must have seen the movie at the theater in order for it to make the list. And looking back on 2016, I didn’t see that many movies, apparently, because I had trouble coming up with 10 movies for the list. But then again, if I didn’t hear about a movie, and then make the effort to go see it at the theater, it probably wasn’t any good anyway. So maybe this is a list of The Best Movies of 2016.
Secondly. The movies are ranked IN ORDER. As every premiere blogger knows, any list of the “best” must be ranked IN ORDER. That’s just standard industry practice and not even reasonably debatable by honest persons. Otherwise, all you have is a random collection of shit thrown against the wall to see what sticks. *cough,* or whatever.
Lastly. Let’s get on with it. Idyt’s list of the Top 10 Movies of 2016.Continue reading →
The degenerates on the String have pivoted from busting my balls about the election of their president to, as of this morning, throwing shade about my failure to blog for the last two weeks. On the former, SMH*. On the latter, I must admit they have a point. SeaDick has been posting on the regular and adding new features on the sidebar, IJ dropped his music manifesto in our eyeballs and even Angry is threatening a missive or two. I gotta stay woke if I want to maintain my position as the premiere blogger at http://www.monkeywithagunblog.com, and I do. As Kool noted, “If we wanted no blogging for two weeks Kruk would be in charge.”
So, to break the seal, here’s a quick one to get back in the game.
A 30 year old grown man in Brooklyn got mugged recently by four kids aged 8-14. Video of this crew above, and full story here. Dude? Really? Anyone on the String could handle these little fuckers.Continue reading →
Why are all the great rock bands from the UK/Ireland? Now don’t go getting yourself into a tizzy over whether or not the good old US of A can compete, but the UK/Ireland clearly has the upper hand. Don’t believe me? Play this game that is a String favorite. Name the best UK/Irish rock band (band, not individual). Right, you have undoubtedly immediately thought of the Beatles, the Stones, the Who, Zeppelin, U2 and Pink Floyd. All great bands. Which is best? Who knows ? (But I do know that Pipes will want to rank them.) Now do it for the US. That’s right, not so easy. I’m sure you came up with the Dead, the Doors, Pearl Jam and you tried to argue that Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band should be included — request denied. The horrible conclusion that we come to is that the greatest American Rock and Roll band is . . . wait for it, . . . Aerosmith. I know, you are outraged, but think about it. Longevity, hits, etc, they win. I’m not particularly happy about it, but its true, so deal. But, as Angry is found of saying, I digress.
A straight up rock and roll act from England (hence the previous digression). The lead singer, Conor Mason, looks 12, but what a set of pipes (not you Pipes). Solid from top to bottom, but I am a particular fan of one where they slow it down a bit — “If I Get High”
First, a note to my friend and fellow degen Pipes. No I don’t have to rate my albums. If you want to rate your albums then you know what to do — START YOUR OWN DAMN LIST. Of course it will be filled with 80’s hair metal bands and Bon Jovi greatest hit’s albums, but that’s a story for a different post. See IJ’s Keep Going post for a flavor. End of rant.
Today’s album is a blues, jazz, rock, gospel, pop, coastal/southern beach music melange by St. Paul and the Broken Bones.
Alright boys and girls, it’s December and you know what that means. That’s right it’s time for people with opinions to make lists of things. I fully acknowledge that old canard about opinions and assholes, but if you don’t like my damn list make one of your own. Without further ado, I’m listing my favorite albums of 2016. Please note that that doesn’t mean that the album necessarily came out in 2016, just that I discovered it and enjoyed it for the first time in 2016. Again, if you don’t like it, you know what to do. I also am not ranking these albums. They are all great in my view and, while I’m not handing out participation trophies here, I love them all and will continue to listen to them all so ranking them is really meaningless. You don’t rank your kids do you? Well IJ does, but he’s the outlier there I’m pretty sure. Enough pontificating.
First up is Frank Turner’s “Positive Songs for Negative People.” Former punk rocker, now touring with the likes of Jason Isbell and the Arkells. Intelligent lyrics alternating between a classic ballad and a straight up rock anthem. Frank gets more done with an acoustic guitar than anyone I know. Start with “Get Better” and then listen to the rest of the album and then check out the rest of his stuff. There is just a ton of great Frank Turner music out there as he’s one of the hardest working guys in music.
This is a little old and during Army Navy week it may seem a little odd coming from a Navy grad, but this deserves to be seen by as many people as possible. (Other than 3 hours on the first Saturday of December, there is nothing but respect between Westpoint and Annapolis.) It’s a little long, but trust me, watch the whole thing. Thank you for your service Tango Mike Mike (That Mean Mexican).
Full disclosure, I’m a graduate of the Cheasapeake University of Naval Technology, also known as Annapolis or the United States Naval Academy, so I fully admit that I am biased here, but take a look at this bullshite. P.J. Fleck, the coach at Western Michigan, darling of ESPN’s Sportscenter and of “Row the Boat” fame managed to squeak out a victory against that football powerhouse Ohio University, the Bobcats, not the Buckeyes, 29-23. In so doing, he thought his team made a case to go to the Cotton Bowl. Let’s roll the tape.
I guess that’s not terrible, obnoxious and arrogant sure, but his team is undefeated and a coach is supposed to advocate for his team right? And there is a lot of money at stake. A Cotton Bowl check is much larger than any of the other bowls that the Broncos could end up in. So, I know what you are asking, “SeaDick, what’s your beef here?” Well, I’ll tell you. What you didn’t see in that clip is Coach Fleck’s response after the game when asked, after again advocating for his team to go to the Cotton Bowl, whether he would commit to coaching his team in the Cotton Bowl rather than accepting a job at a new school. I’m sure you will be shocked to hear that he would not give such a commitment.
Gotta file my report on the latest viral sensation breaking the Internets, namely, this crazy racist Trump bitch who went bat shit crazy at a craft store in Lincoln Park over the Thanksgiving weekend. But wait, how would I know that she is a Trump voter??? Well, maybe because she claims she was “discriminated against” because she is a Trump voter, and yells at everyone in the store about how she is a Trump voter, all because she was asked to “buy a bag,” a new liberal thing in Chicago. I don’t want to look too hard into the mind of a Trump voter for fear of falling into the abyss, but apparently that equates to discrimination in the warped minds that now run the country.Continue reading →
Monkey With A Gun 