Apologies to the bros for going soft and introspective on that last blog, but it had to be done. Thanks for understanding. Anyway, to make it up to you fucks, here’s a blast from the past to clear the mind and cleanse the vas deferens. Fucking STACY’S MOM! Gob damn did she have it going on. Continue reading
Month: March 2017
I Took the Asshole Test and Passed with Flying Colors!
A woman I know just posted a link on the Twitter machine to the above article, link here. The article, found on the famous “Your Guide to Love and Relationships” website http://www.LovePanky.com, purports to inform the ladies whether they are dating a complete jerk, and provides a convenient 10 point checklist of assholery. Although it is not outside the realm of possibilities that she is talking about someone else, let’s assume for the purpose of analysis she is talking about ME. So, let’s TAKE THE TEST. Feel free to play along at home. Continue reading
It’s A Big Music Day
I know, most of you are out there crying about the Zona or Purdue loss. (I’m not sure how you could really be upset about the latter as that outcome was a stone cold lock. Just ask Kool. It was a home game for Kansas and they were playing Purdue. Nuff said.) But you should forget all that stuff and focus on what’s important, Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors just released their latest, Souvenir, and Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit just released a song from their upcoming The Nashville Sound. It may not be your normal taste in music (I’m talking to you Pipes), but it’s good stuff. Trust me. SeaDick out.
If You Haven’t Seen the Giant Chicken Video Yet You Should
Alotta kids out there sayin that the giant chicken video is one of the most amazing things they have seen on the internets in awhile and it is hard to disagree. Not as big as a horse-sized duck, but damn, that is a huge fucking chicken. Thought I would bring this to everyone’s attention, so you aren’t surprised if you ever run across the giant chicken in person. And damn, this guy knows how to make an entrance. Starts off looking like a normal huge chicken coming out of his hole, and then he stands up and starts strutting around like he owns the place, which he probably does. Very impressive.
Would You Rather Fight 100 Duck-sized Horses, or One Horse-sized Duck?
I’ve been doing my gob damnedest to avoid watching, talking about or even thinking about the Gorsuch Supreme Court confirmation hearings going on this week out of fear of losing my gob damned mind. This is of course the Scalia seat, that was President Obama’s constitutional right to fill. Rather than a reasonable moderate in Merrick Garland, we now have a staunch conservative who won’t answer questions about whether he will overturn Roe v. Wade and protect corporations over people, because of course he will. Well, you know what else he won’t answer? Whether he would rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck! Continue reading
Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Homeless Hero Hitchhiker
Since I mentioned it, I guess I gotta blog it. Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Homeless Hero Hitchhiker set the internets on fire a few years ago with his true story of saving a woman from Jesus Christ. With a hatchet. Sure, it is a great story, but my favorite parts are the great lines from this hero, starting with his manifesto on life and self-worth. To wit: Continue reading
“Who All Seen the Leprechaun Say YEAHHH!”
Alotta guys out there saying that this is the greatest internet video OF ALL TIME. Can that be true? Well, who’s to say. I might go with Kai the Hatchet-Weilding Homeless Hero Hitchhiker over the leprechaun report. But this video is definitely on point today, so let’s go with it. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Javy’s No Look Tag is Setting the Internets on Fire, Which Led to Me Discovering the World of Obscure Baseball Fetish Videos
Our own Javier Baez is apparently kicking ass for the Puerto Ricans this week in the World Baseball Classic, which apparently is a thing that I didn’t even know about. Well yesterday Javy laid down a filthy no look tag on a throw down from Yadier Molina, and was celebrating before the ball even got there. Continue reading
Top 10 Hottest Robots 2.0
Seems like everybody is banging robots these days. In honor of this technological and sexual achievement, I have prepared this premier blog wherein I designate (in order, per usual) the Top 10 Hottest Robots. Continue reading
Is this AT&T Online Helper a Real Person, or Nah?
Bear with me on this blog because it is a little geeky. If you aren’t into that, well, there’s the door. Either way, I’ll make it up to you with my next blog, which will also be kinda geeky, but will also be a premiere blog with pictures of hot blonde smokes. And I’m not one to promise a blog and then fail to deliver, unlike some people who shall remain nameless, unless his name is Mongo.
Anyway, I got into a situation today where I had to administer a real life Turing Test to determine if I was talking to a real person or a computer AI. Still not sure. Damn computers. Continue reading