The degenerates on the String have pivoted from busting my balls about the election of their president to, as of this morning, throwing shade about my failure to blog for the last two weeks.  On the former, SMH*.  On the latter, I must admit they have a point.  SeaDick has been posting on the regular and adding new features on the sidebar, IJ dropped his music manifesto in our eyeballs and even Angry is threatening a missive or two.  I gotta stay woke if I want to maintain my position as the premiere blogger at http://www.monkeywithagunblog.com, and I do.  As Kool noted, “If we wanted no blogging for two weeks Kruk would be in charge.”

So, to break the seal, here’s a quick one to get back in the game.  

A 30 year old grown man in Brooklyn got mugged recently by four kids aged 8-14.  Video of this crew above, and full story here.  Dude?  Really?  Anyone on the String could handle these little fuckers. Continue reading →

First off, allow me to be the first to say that I am the biggest fan of HBO Sunday night television ever.  Absolute fucking appointment television, and has been for 20 damn years.  The Soprano’s, Deadwood, Rome, Game of Thrones, True Detective, The Night Of, Silicon Valley, etc., etc., etc.  I plan my week around watching HBO on Sunday nights, and by that I mean I don’t have anything better to do on Sunday nights (unless it is Game 5 of the World Series!!!), so I watch HBO.  All the kids come over, the girls cook something delicious (or if it is my night to cook I burn myself and/or slice my hand open) and then we settle in for whatever the latest hit show is.  Can’t wait for Sunday nights, which is kinda sad really, but hey, it is what it is.  Well lately Sunday nights SUCK, because this Westworld show isn’t worth a shit. Continue reading →

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Well, I did it again last night.  I’m not much of a cook, if we are being honest with one another.  I’ve been trying for the last couple years (long story), but all I can cook is stuff from Blue Apron, bad chili and doughy, asymmetrical pizza, and then maybe.  But even worse than my cooking are my “knife skills,” which I didn’t even know was a “skill” until IJ sent me a video.  Well, my so-called knife skills are awful.  I regularly take a chunk out of my hand trying to cut shit up, which is by far the hardest part of cooking, in my view.  Last night it was the tip of the ring finger on my left hand while cutting raw chickens.  A few weeks ago it was the side of the pinkie on my right hand on what experts call a “mandolin.”  Well, whatever you call it, it took the side of my damn hand off and I spent the evening in the emergency room getting a $1,500 band-aid and a tetanus shot, and then only after Jake demanded to know whether I was “going to the emergency room or cook those damn steaks.”  Priorities, I guess.   Continue reading →