Viral Alert – Cash Me Ousside How Bow Dah

Quick public service announcement as to the latest stupid thing going viral.  So the story is some trashy red neck 13 year old girl went on a trashy daytime TV talk show, because her mom won’t let her have any fun, or something, because that’s a story I guess.  Our young heroine of course got into a dispute with the audience, as is customary.  When “all the whores” in the audience laughed at her, she replied “Cash me ousside how bow dah,” which translates to “Catch me outside, how about that,” which in turn translates to “In view of your expressed disdain for my comments, I would be willing to meet with you after the show outside of this facility, where we can discuss the matter further, and/or engage in a physical altercation.  What is your reaction to my offer?”  

Well, this deplorable young lady is now an internet sensation, with paparazzi following her around, and her unique dialect has been widely adopted in memes, tweets, etc., including by our own Chicago White Sox, as shown above.  That’s the internet for you.  Tape below. Continue reading

Blonde Tracks – Oops!…I Did It Again by Britney

Kicking off the Blonde Tracks a few days early this year because, well, you guys need to be put on notice of a certain situation that happened last night.  And it happened to a blonde, who just happens to sing while being hot, and everything else in the world pretty much sucks.  So I decided, what the hell, let’s just kickoff the Blonde Tracks a few days early this year.

As the long time followers of MWAG know, the Blonde Tracks are an award winning feature that helps us get through what is universally recognized as the worst time of the year–that time of year after the Super Bowl (approximately) and before March Madness starts, when you get depressed because football is over and there is nothing fun to do that doesn’t involve being cold, baseball is still a couple months away and there are no good sports to watch that don’t totally blow, and which also includes Valentines Day, which is a real holiday but is stupid, see here, and this year, I am sure, will be an epic disaster of nightmare proportions.  If you texted mean and spiteful messages to me until I named a time of year that sucked more, well, I hope you have Ultra-Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder so that you can keep coming up with new and hateful things to say every goddamn day because I could not name a worse time of year. Continue reading

We Can All Learn Some Important Life Lessons from this 20 Second Video

Kind of a metaphor for life, this video.  When you fall down, you gotta get back up.  No one ever drowned from falling into the water, but from staying there, or something.  But then just when get back up and dust yourself off, down you go again.  And then Trump gets elected.  What a world.

12/7/41 11/22/63 12/8/80 9/11/01 5/20/11 3/30/12 1/20/17

Trying my best not to be a whiny little bitch about all this, and maybe even get some laughs out of it somehow, but Jesus Fucking Christ you guys, the white supremacists are declaring “We did it!”  WTF?!?!?  If that doesn’t give you pause while celebrating your upcoming tax break, well, Gob* help you.   Continue reading

Viral Alert – Salt Bae


I made some steaks and Ore Ida shoestring fries last night without cutting off any parts of my hand (nbd).  When serving this feast, The Savage started tossing salt all over the fucking place like a damn weirdo, much to everyone’s amusement and cheers of “SALT BAE!!!”   Caught unawares, per usual, I demanded to know what the hell “SALT BAE” (pronounced “bay,” means “before anyone else”) meant.  Well, apparently we have a hot new thing on the Internet streets, a guy many are out there saying is the first Internet sensation of 2017.  So it is my sworn duty to report it.  More video below. Continue reading

You People Saying that Sports Stars Should Just Shut Up, Should, Well, Just Shut Up

The Cubs went to the White House today and it looks like a good time was had by all.  Rizzo wore his Ron Burgundy jacket, and Theo gave the Prez an official pardon for being a Sox fan, as well as a W flag to fly at the future presidential library in Chicago.  The Cubs also presented our president with a lifetime admission pass to Wrigley, which he noted was “NON TRANSFERABLE.”  Lots of laughs all around, and a nice Chicago sendoff for President Obama in his last week in office. Continue reading