SeaDick and I may or may not agree on the scope of the Prior Restraint doctrine as it applies to Mongo’s (potential) blog, and you would need a law degree from a superior law school to understand the difference anyway, but here was a moment when we were in full agreement. How is this not up here already? A moment of pure joy.
Might be one of the high points in my life. Gotta post that, you guys.
I am very proud to announce that I am now in the dictionary, and by that I mean the Urban Dictionary. Very proud moment, and not just for me personally, and not just for the Monkey with a Gun blog and the String, but also for the First Amendment, the Constitution and the United States of America. Continue reading
First off, allow me to be the first to say that I am the biggest fan of HBO Sunday night television ever. Absolute fucking appointment television, and has been for 20 damn years. The Soprano’s, Deadwood, Rome, Game of Thrones, True Detective, The Night Of, Silicon Valley, etc., etc., etc. I plan my week around watching HBO on Sunday nights, and by that I mean I don’t have anything better to do on Sunday nights (unless it is Game 5 of the World Series!!!), so I watch HBO. All the kids come over, the girls cook something delicious (or if it is my night to cook I burn myself and/or slice my hand open) and then we settle in for whatever the latest hit show is. Can’t wait for Sunday nights, which is kinda sad really, but hey, it is what it is. Well lately Sunday nights SUCK, because this Westworld show isn’t worth a shit. Continue reading
Well, I did it again last night. I’m not much of a cook, if we are being honest with one another. I’ve been trying for the last couple years (long story), but all I can cook is stuff from Blue Apron, bad chili and doughy, asymmetrical pizza, and then maybe. But even worse than my cooking are my “knife skills,” which I didn’t even know was a “skill” until IJ sent me a video. Well, my so-called knife skills are awful. I regularly take a chunk out of my hand trying to cut shit up, which is by far the hardest part of cooking, in my view. Last night it was the tip of the ring finger on my left hand while cutting raw chickens. A few weeks ago it was the side of the pinkie on my right hand on what experts call a “mandolin.” Well, whatever you call it, it took the side of my damn hand off and I spent the evening in the emergency room getting a $1,500 band-aid and a tetanus shot, and then only after Jake demanded to know whether I was “going to the emergency room or cook those damn steaks.” Priorities, I guess. Continue reading
So apparently [A PERSON] partook in some day drinking yesterday, which led to [THAT PERSON] getting a text from his buddy’s distraught wife. The wife asked:
“[PERSON], why is [BUDDY] so drunk? Did he drive home like this? He’s sick.”
We’ve all been there. Happens all the time, unfortunately. And I don’t think we have ever determined the right answer, or how to handle this situation. So what is the correct response? Continue reading
We have a side bet going in WWMD for the Friday afternoon game against the Phillies. WWMD will be played with the usual suspects, but Slim, the Captain and now possibly Satan are coming to town for the game. In addition to playing WWMD for real stakes, we will also be playing the Four Corners game, which isn’t really a game, it just means we will be hitting all the bars at the corners around Wrigley, per usual. Should be interesting. Continue reading
Maybe not the smartest thing I’ve ever done.
Ran across this on the Internets today and got so pissed off I couldn’t see straight. Can a professional baseball player hit one of the “best” wiffle ball pitchers? Really? Give me a fucking break. This is so fucking stupid, I don’t even know where to begin. Continue reading
Got an invite from Kool Gregg a couple weeks ago to join his A+ crew at the Kentucky Derby. Haven’t been to the Derby since 1995 for Ratt’s bachelor party, so absolutely had to be here. Killer time so far I guess.
Kool claims Derby weekend is the best sporting event of the year. Better than the Super Bowl, NCAA championship, World Series, etc. My first thought, that’s ridiculous! Better than the Super Bowl?!? I’ve been to the Super Bowl, and it’s awesome! The Colts lost, and it was still awesome. How could a bunch of animals running in a circle compare to that?
But after the first day, I’m coming around to Kool’s way of thinking. Continue reading
Monkey With A Gun 