Among the housebound agoraphobes on the string there has been some debate as to whether I am a magnet, or just more observant than most of the bizarre shit that happens every day all around every one of us. I was contemplating this question after getting in my uber when I looked out the window and saw a buck naked homeless man with an 18-inch penis taking a dump in a flower bed. I fumbled for my phone to take a picture or video, but was too late.
I thought – well maybe I am a magnet. I had just witnessed a homeless man with porn worthy junk crapping in the flowers. But that’s not really the answer I was looking for, so I did some digging (not in the flowers, but on the internet). It turns out that my newly adopted city of San Francisco has the most homeless people per capita (well maybe second most). Also, my particular neighborhood has the highest concentration of homeless people in the city with the most homeless people in the country (maybe second most). On my block there is a methadone treatment center and the two largest weed dispensaries in San Francisco.
As I thought about it I realized that there is a lot of human shit on the street when I walk to the train. There is a solid urine river down the stairs to the train station, and it is not uncommon to see people shooting heroin in the tunnel. I knew all this when I rented the apartment, but thought it was okay because SeaDick let his daughter rent an apartment across the street.
I think that the answer to the question of whether I am a magnet or more observant can’t be definitively answered one way or there other. By deliberately choosing to live next door to the methadone clinic I put myself in a position to see the freak shitting in the flowers.
There are other neighborhoods I could live in. I am glad I live in the tenderloin. Put yourself in a weird situation, preferably with a real chance for something bad to happen, and open your eyes. You don’t really need to be that perceptive to be a magnet.
The obvious question is whether his guy is alive or dead, and how many of his buddies died trying to save him. But what I want to know is what the penalty is here? Shouldn’t it be a penalty to even end up in the middle of the pond like that, regardless of the fact that it is frozen? Otherwise, you could just play right through frozen lakes and ponds, which is probably what he was doing here. And is it a stroke if you completely miss the ball, and then fall and die? I assume that is a stroke, but maybe there is a death exception. How would you even find out something like that?
I think I got time for one more fire blog before heading out to SeaDick’s Christmas party tonight. SeaDick has been taking requests for Christmas songs, which got me thinking, being the premiere blogger that I am. What, exactly, are the Top 10 Christmas songs of All Time??? Well, here’s the definitive list, IN ORDER. Continue reading
In one of the premiere blogs of 2016, on this site or any other, I extensively documented how Prince was AWOL from USA for Africa. Then yesterday, I keenly noted how Bob Dylan Snubbed the Nobel Prize but Showed Up for USA for Africa. Well, the history of We Are The World would not be complete without covering the 2010 remake to raise awareness of the disaster in Haiti, and then SNL’s We are the World 3, to raise awareness of the disaster that was We Are The World 2. Continue reading
Another premiere entry in the Urban Dictionary, you guys. Plenty of credit to go around here. First to Gn00bs for being a String Killer, and second to SeaDick for recognizing it needed to be in the Urban Dictionary. There is no I in The String. Continue reading
They are out here saying that the Russians and so-called “fake news” decided the election in favor of a thrice married racist and misogynist reality TV star being sued for fraud over a kindly grandmother guilty of faithfully serving this country for the last 30 years. Well, I may or may not cover the Russian angle at some point, but the fake news is a real thing you guys, and most certainly decided the election. As the premier blogger here, I must point out that this is nothing new. You people have been doing this shit at least since President Obama was elected. Continue reading
If you followed the news this year, and I did, probably the biggest story of the year was Bob Dylan snubbing his Nobel Prize. The Nobel Prize, apparently, is not just for bringing peace to the world, like President Obama did when he got elected and never did anything, and still got the award. But the Nobel Prize is for other things too, like Literature, Chemistry and other stuff you can google for yourself because that’s all I know. Anyway, the Swedes granted Bob Dylan the 2016 Nobel Prize in Literature for his song lyrics from a hundred years ago. When the awards were announced, Dylan did not respond, or even acknowledge it, and just gave the Nobel people a giant double freedom rocket and GFY. Just completely AWOL for the award, like Prince for USA for Africa. But Dylan showed up for “USA FOR AFRICA” back in the 80’s because he is a GODDAMN PATRIOT. Continue reading
Your president-elect was up early this morning tweeting, per usual. China grabbed a Navy drone operating in the South China Sea, which may have been monitoring sea temperature, or maybe monitoring Chinese submarines. Who really knows. Well, whatever, it is definitely a situation, and Trump just had to weigh in by blasting a tweet out to the entire world.
Like so many times over the last year and half, Trump’s tweet will define the news coverage for the next couple days, he will get all kinds of attention and press coverage. I’ve been pretty quiet the last month while I licked my wounds and S[hook]MH, but Jesus H Fucking Christ you guys, Trump is gonna get us all killed. Seriously. Continue reading
If you have watched the news in 2016, and I have, I am sure you would agree that the biggest story of the year has probably been Madonna’s ass. Dat 2016 Madonna ass has been all over the place. Most recently, the issue is whether Madonna, at the tender age of 58, has some new butt implants. I didn’t even know that was a thing until a couple years ago when I learned of such things on a trip to South Florida. But that is a story for another day, and by that I mean never. Anyway, as the premiere blogger on the older smokes, and in particular the blonde older smokes, I gotta report the situation. I report, you decide. Continue reading
Buckle up Bitches because it is time for me to start dropping my Top 10 lists for 2016! To start things off, lets go with my Top 10 Movies of 2016.
First off, some rules. This ain’t ‘Nam, after all.
A. Allow me to be the first to say that these are definitely not the BEST movies of 2016. I must have seen the movie at the theater in order for it to make the list. And looking back on 2016, I didn’t see that many movies, apparently, because I had trouble coming up with 10 movies for the list. But then again, if I didn’t hear about a movie, and then make the effort to go see it at the theater, it probably wasn’t any good anyway. So maybe this is a list of The Best Movies of 2016.
Secondly. The movies are ranked IN ORDER. As every premiere blogger knows, any list of the “best” must be ranked IN ORDER. That’s just standard industry practice and not even reasonably debatable by honest persons. Otherwise, all you have is a random collection of shit thrown against the wall to see what sticks. *cough,* or whatever.
Lastly. Let’s get on with it. Idyt’s list of the Top 10 Movies of 2016. Continue reading