I feel like sheep get a bad rap, am I right? I mean, sheep are on the shitty end of all the parables and sayings. The wolf, sheep and sheep dog story is told in all the war movies, and being the sheep is clearly the worst option. “You can shear a sheep many times, but kill him only once.” Real nice. The “So many sheep, so little time” bumper sticker that Satan made up back in the 90’s was so wrong on many levels, but especially from the perspective of the sheep. Political followers on both side of the aisles are always called sheep, unlike the thoughtful individuals who give deep, considerate thought to all the issues, and then vote Republican every time. The list just goes on and on. Plus its gotta suck getting herded all over the place with a dog nipping at your ass every day. Sheep life has just gotta suck. Well, these sheep got some payback, and good for them. Probably will be a 15 yard penalty on that list hit, but it was worth it. Team sheep on this one.
Author: Idyt
And Herein I Present the Greatest Story Ever Told About a Scholar Who Gets to Class on Time
Alotta guys out there saying that 80% of life is just showing up. That may be true, but there’s another 20% to work with, and I’m gonna split it evenly between showing up ON TIME and being able to tell a great fucking story. Well this dude DR[sigma]W gets a 100% on that scale. Shows up, on time and tweets out the play-by-play when another guy shows up and the “Brady Bunch” asks DR[sigma]W to give up his seat. It’s like a Seinfeld episode with racial overtones, and by racial overtones I mean the scholar DR[sigma]W turns it into a hilarious racial situation. And if you don’t think this is hilarious, well, you might just be a Trump voter.
“I won’t say a hero, cause what’s a hero? But sometimes there’s a man for his time and place.” – The Stranger, The Big Lebowski Continue reading
I Love Alabama Fans!
Gotta love those Alabama fans. A grand total of TWELVE PEOPLE showed up to welcome the team home. Continue reading
It’s Cold Outside
Just a quick reminder that it’s cold out there. Might want to bring a hat and maybe leave a little trickle of water running in the bathtub or something.
Top 10 Cubs Games of 2016
SPOILER ALERT, but I think we all know what #1 will be. That one is easy. After that, not so much. Obviously, you don’t get to be World Series champs without some ridiculous performances on the field, and some blowouts of the first order of magnitude. Those games are always fun, but sometimes the close games in extra innings, or the walk off homer (or bunt?!?!), or the come from behind win, are even more memorable. And then there are games with great stories, like Chapman’s arrival, walking Harper six times in one game, and games where, to be honest, a lot of guys were out there questioning Maddon (not me, Probie, Gramps nor Seadick, but some guys were). And then you had the POSTSEASON! Obviously these games were MUCH more important than any regular season game.
How would one even attempt to consider all these factors and name the Top 10 games, let alone IN ORDER?? Well, that’s what premiere blogging is all about. You’re welcome. Continue reading
Viral Alert – Girl With No Legs?
Given my oath to keep everyone informed when something is going viral on the Internets, the picture above is the latest thing driving people outside their minds. What the hell is going on here? Someone is missing a pair of legs, and damned if I can tell if it is girl #2, or girl #3. Is the picture even real, or photoshopped? All kinds of theories floating around out there. Click “read more” to find out the truth, or don’t, your call. Continue reading
Idyt’s Guide to Blogging Basics for Basic Bloggers
We have some new bloggers at the Monkey with a Gun Blog lately, and I, for one, could not be happier. Seriously! The only thing better would be if Fergie and Erika Eleniak were leading a yoga pants protest down my street. I don’t want to be the only person on here casting stupid ideas into the darkness. It gets lonely, you guys. You need others in the mix offering their random and useless thoughts to get your own random and useless thoughts flowing. Steel sharpens steel, am I right? Continue reading
Your President is Making Appointments based on how People Look and No One is Surprised in the Slightest
They are out here saying that your president Donald Trump rejected John Bolton as Secretary of State because he didn’t like his mustache. I may surprise some people with this hot take, but I’m with your president on this one. That mustache is awful. A man can’t make good decisions about what happens on the world stage if he can’t make good decisions about what happens on his own face. Continue reading
Idyt’s Top 10 TV Shows of 2016
In the year that was 2016, I actually wasn’t entertained that much. Well, the election entertained me for 5/6 of the year. And then I got my head dashed against a brick wall. So yea, other than Cubs games and the World Series, it has been a a dreadful, awful year. In between the disappointments and misfortunes, I have retreated to the darkness, and stared at that “black mirror,” as it were. To salvage some positive from those hours of wasted time, here are my top 10 TV shows of 2016. Continue reading
Twitter Guessers Aren’t Real
If you want to be internet famous, and who doesn’t, all you gotta do is Twitter predict some wildly improbably event with uncanny specificity, and then have that wildly improbable event actually happen, specifically as you uncannily predicted. If you can do that, you will go viral on the Internets, the secret dream of everyone these days.
The latest Nostradamus is @FanuteGod who tweeted back in April that the Giants would go 11-5 and only lose to the Eagles, Redskins, Steelers, Vikings and Packers. Assuming the Giants beat the Redskins next weekend, this prediction will be dead on balls accurate. The odds of predicting the Giants’ EXACT win-loss record, and who they would lose to this season, are somewhere between the odds of IJ not drinking a beer today and Gramps ever voting for a Democrat, and by that I mean damn near impossible. Continue reading
Monkey With A Gun 