Bro Stuff

I Took the Asshole Test and Passed with Flying Colors!

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Asshole test article

A woman I know just posted a link on the Twitter machine to the above article, link here.  The article, found on the famous “Your Guide to Love and Relationships” website http://www.LovePanky.com, purports to inform the ladies whether they are dating a complete jerk, and provides a convenient 10 point checklist of assholery.  Although it is not outside the realm of possibilities that she is talking about someone else, let’s assume for the purpose of analysis she is talking about ME.  So, let’s TAKE THE TEST.  Feel free to play along at home. Continue reading →

Would You Rather Fight 100 Duck-sized Horses, or One Horse-sized Duck?

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I’ve been doing my gob damnedest to avoid watching, talking about or even thinking about the Gorsuch Supreme Court confirmation hearings going on this week out of fear of losing my gob damned mind.  This is of course the Scalia seat, that was President Obama’s constitutional right to fill.  Rather than a reasonable moderate in Merrick Garland, we now have a staunch conservative who won’t answer questions about whether he will overturn Roe v. Wade and protect corporations over people, because of course he will.  Well, you know what else he won’t answer?  Whether he would rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck! Continue reading →

Is this AT&T Online Helper a Real Person, or Nah?

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Turing Test

Bear with me on this blog because it is a little geeky.  If you aren’t into that, well, there’s the door.  Either way, I’ll make it up to you with my next blog, which will also be kinda geeky, but will also be a premiere blog with pictures of hot blonde smokes.  And I’m not one to promise a blog and then fail to deliver, unlike some people who shall remain nameless, unless his name is Mongo.

Anyway, I got into a situation today where I had to administer a real life Turing Test to determine if I was talking to a real person or a computer AI.  Still not sure.  Damn computers. Continue reading →

Escalator 1, Jesus 0

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This has got to be the worst day for Jesus ever, am I right?  Well, second worst day at least. I assume that this is a real Jesus.  He looks like Jesus, with the robes, the Jesus beard and a damn nice flow.  Plus he is carrying a cross, and who else carries a cross around?  No one, that’s who.  And I certainly can’t disprove this guy is the son of God and died 2000 years ago for all of us sinners.  So he must be Jesus.  But Christ, he is having a shitty day.  So proud of that cross, even though that may be worst cross ever.  You couldn’t crucify anyone on that thing except for maybe a little baby.  And everyone is laughing at him.  People are supposed to be wailing and getting healed and shit, not laughing.  Just a really bad day for Jesus today.  Amen. 

Must Watch – Oscar VFX Winners from 1927-2016

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Just bringing this to your attention, but you will not regret watching clips from each of the special effects Oscar winners through the years.  Not a premiere blog by any means, but kinda fun when you have a spare 11 minutes.  Puts it all in perspective over time.  And, after watching this, I say the movies were not actually realistic, where you could not tell the difference between reality and fake news, until about the early 2000’s.  Hey, watch and decide for yourself.

But then they get to the last few years?  WTF?  Never even heard of those movies.  Everything is realistic, so anyone can win. Probably won because they had an alliance or something.

Viral Alert – Salt Bae

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I made some steaks and Ore Ida shoestring fries last night without cutting off any parts of my hand (nbd).  When serving this feast, The Savage started tossing salt all over the fucking place like a damn weirdo, much to everyone’s amusement and cheers of “SALT BAE!!!”   Caught unawares, per usual, I demanded to know what the hell “SALT BAE” (pronounced “bay,” means “before anyone else”) meant.  Well, apparently we have a hot new thing on the Internet streets, a guy many are out there saying is the first Internet sensation of 2017.  So it is my sworn duty to report it.  More video below. Continue reading →